The Mediocre Mantra

If there's something that people have been battling for ages, it's the struggle of being a mediocre person or an "average" human being. I am sure this is also the key to all those "Thug Life" quotes and memes on social media.

Falling in the "average" range means that you finish your daily chores, earn enough to support yourself and your family and lead a moderate life. You do not excel at your workplace, but you are not an underperformer. You are not an overachiever either. You do not hold a burning passion for anything. You are in your comfort zone and you are playing safe in everything you do. You always plan things, book tickets in advance and never do anything impromptu in life. You think twice to take a vacation because you want to save up for something you might/might not do in the future. You have to work hard towards everything you do. Am sure reading so far has given you either a sinking feeling or a relief that you are not any of what has been listed above. I congratulate every person who feels the latter. The mediocre lot, please read on:

A wise man once said that success comes to only those who work "hard". But what if you don't excel even though you work hard? What if hours of solving a problem don't give you a solution or a new perspective? Maybe, at the end of the day, you solve the problem by yourself or take help from someone. And then you would move on feeling relieved that you have overcome the situation. It's great that you got it solved but did you realize where the whole thing became mediocre? It's when you moved on from the solution/problem without learning anything in the process. When there is no take-away. When you just have the experience of solving it but do not care about the actual solution.

Another thing to consider is your perspective on the whole thing. You're solving it because you should solve it. As you ought to pay your bills. But do you actually want to solve it? Are you passionate about solving this problem? If given a choice, will you solve it? Question yourself. Little questions like these change how you approach problems. Some research on: what's the crux of the problem -> scale of the problem -> how bad are its effects will genuinely pique your interest in looking at the possible solutions. Trying one or more solutions will take you deeper into the problem. And once you are almost about to solve it, nothing will stop you from solving the problem. This will change your entire perspective on problem-solving and even if you don't solve it, you are a winner already, for not giving up!

Remember that nobody can make that one great leap to success (unless its stock market). Start small, have patience and faith, work smart to step out of this mediocre life. Become special by working on your strengths. If you want to challenge yourself, always question yourself: what am I going to be in 10 years .. If long term goals are not working out, create short term goals. Work on them like never before. Keep going and never stop working. You may fail but you'll never repent. Success is on your way.

Hoping to see all of you in flying colors. Hoping to see you all succeed. And hoping to step out of my own mediocre life by this attempt at blogging.

Dear Long Lost Best Friend,

Dear Long Lost Best Friend,

Its been ages since we spoke and I know things are not going to change.  I really wish we had never been friends. I wonder if we were ever friends!

If not always, at least once in a while, I wanna find out how you are doing. Or how things are going on at your end. Even though I gather from social media that everything is okay, just a word from your end that things are okay will be so good.
I know I can't fix your troubles/ be there for you morally.. But just for the sake of old times and also because I genuinely care for you, can't we talk once in a while without making it a big deal?!
Maybe we can longer be best friends but,

Can't we be acquaintances and not strangers?!
Can't you visit me when I finally have a home of my own ?
Can't there be one proper birthday wish?
...
Can't there be at least one phone call a year?

I meet new people every day.. I spend time, 'hang out" with them.. But I confess that there are very few friends like you.

If I tell you this, I am the weaker one. The one with no self respect...
But if I don't, there will be regret and remorse - one day when I am old and have nothing else to do, I'd wish I'd tried one last time.
If you were in my place, what would you do? Now tell me, what should I do?

Many a time, I gave up on you. Many a time, I crossed you off my list. Many a time, I don't give a damn..
But all the time, you pop up : over simple conversations, those casual outings.. just that fraction of second where I wish you were there along with the others..

And here's the truth. I finally realized something. I was never the best friend you always claimed me to be..
I am whom I am - just someone whom you "hung out" with..

Take care...

Sincerely,
Your Friend (??)

Book review: The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

To be honest, I did not understand what the title meant when I saw the book in Barnes and Noble but the moment I came to know that wallflower is a person who is shy, awkward and someone who is usually overlooked, my curiosity increased. Now what can be the perks of being such a person ? - actually none; such people often tend to be lonely with low confidence and insecurities but this book changes this opinion.

Charlie, the protagonist is a very shy and sensitive teenager  who has problems because he is unpredictable, easily traumatized and can break into tears which is a little unusual for boys his age. But as we all know that all people have both pros and cons, his pros are - he is very intelligent, respectful, understanding, sincere, honest and places other people before him.

The book contains letters addressed to a friend whom we do not know - but it can be assumed to be anyone, even you or me. It starts with the death of his best friend Michael and we immediately get introduced to the sensitive side of Charlie where he breaks into tears in a counselling session and this is when he starts going to a counselor to talk about his feelings. Incidentally, he is still mourning over the demise of his favorite aunt, Helen, who stayed with his parents, brother, sister until recently. School year has started and  he is in his first year of high school without any friends and is alone most of the time. His claims that his only friend in high school is his English teacher who is friendly and encouraging. But this changes when he gets introduced to Patrick, his classmate and Sam, with whom Charlie falls in love at the very first sight. They bond instantly and this is when Charlie's life changes in a good way. He starts getting party invites and despite being a wallflower his sincere and understanding nature appeals to all. He becomes a part of the senior group and starts hanging out with them, performs in theater with them : The Rocky Road Show, gets introduced to smoking, alcohol and "brownies". All the while, he grows more in love with Sam even though Sam treats him like a friend and goes out with other guys. If that's the scene with friends, at home, he gets busy watching out for his sister who starts dating good guys, sometimes -bad guys, helps her out during an abortion, becomes the peace maker in family reunions. Reading novels and writing becomes an integral part of his life too when his English teacher notices his potential and assigns him a new book to read and review every week. In addition, he also passes his licence test and begins driving - which means more independence. But he also has his share of bad days where he cries violently, sits depressed for hours, gets addicted to smoking and keeps visiting his aunt Helen's grave every now and then. The story thus takes us through his life until Sam and Patrick graduate and Charlie is still in his high school. But it ends with a shocking revelation - the reason why Charlie is disturbed, shy and I don't want to say anything more because I don't want to give away any spoilers. Please find out yourself.

Its been 5 hours since I completed the book but I can't get Charlie and his world out of my mind. As I mentioned earlier, Charlie is a selfless person and it shows in everything he does -  running errands, buying gifts for friends and family, always listening to people , understanding their emotions and actually being there for them. He also stands up for his friends by fighting a group of senior friends to defending his friend, lands in detentions for them and helps them through breakups. But in spite of being there for everybody, there are many occasions where he has nobody to talk to even when he badly needs company - but he never complains nor does he expect which I think everyone ought to learn. He is a real giver and I haven't come across such a selfless and kind character in any book I've ever read. He also has a strong control on his mind and easily gets out of bad habits when he chooses to. Kudos to Charlie.

Reading the book has been an experience. Over the last 3 days, I have become a friend of Charlie and he took me through the most crucial part of his life - his coming of age story. Knowing that people like Charlie still exist is comforting and I am very pleased to have gotten to know him. Anyone who has read the book can "really" understand and know his family and friends . This shows how well written the book is. Its not a 500 pager but just a 200 pager with life and soul poured into the pages of the book.

I recommend everyone to read this book as it wallows over emotions and touches your heart like never before. If you are not a book person, you can watch the movie which got released with the same title in 2012.

(Now, in Charlie's style):
Love Always,
Padmini

P.S: I wish I actually got all those letters from Charlie.

New found love: Korean Dramas

I've never wanted to learn a new language so much. After watching 5 Korean dramas and 2 of them for an unlimited number of times, I HAVE to learn Korean. The beauty of the word "Sarang" (love), the gratitude while saying 'Kumawa' (Thank you)  is all what's on my mind right now. I just know about 10 Korean words properly but these 10 words make place in all my conversations, especially with my husband, who now understands and knows them as much as I do. If you think my obsession is just about the language, you are mistaken. Of late, I have been obsessed with Korean stars, especially Kim Hyun Joong and Lee Min Ho.  

Kim Hyun Joong

Lee Min Ho

I was in disbelief when I first caught my roommates watching K-Dramas after college hours. When there are umpteen series in known languages such as English and Indian languages, why watch a series in Korean? One day, my roommates forced me to watch a Korean drama during dinner and I'd obliged grudgingly. But 10 mins into the drama, I fell in love with the essence of K-Dramas.  For one thing, the dramas are so relevant to your life and capture the tiniest bit of emotions you have ever experienced in your life. Also, they are all just 12-15 episode dramas of one hour each with each scene more interesting than the previous one which makes the whole watching part satisfying. You could just watch it over tea/lunch for one hour and you are closer to reaching the end of the plot by one hour. As much as they are relevant to your life, the stories can completely take you by surprise through twists in the plot. To top it all, the K drama heroes are very handsome and though initially, they all seem similar (and in some cases like girls), you can't stop crushing on them.  

The leading ladies are all quite bold, strong, independent women with great strength of character and amaze you with their performance. I have come across such strong characters that I actually wondered why I was never like one of them when I was a teenager/even now. 

Of all the K dramas, the impact which the drama "Boys Over Flowers" made on me is the highest. The name sounds funny but trust me, the drama is very popular. The story revolves around 4 rich guys who are are called F4 in their high school. Though initially they are depicted as heartless, rude, and spoilt, as the drama unfolds, you can't stop gushing over the good-natured, kind, and understanding side of these guys. As two of the guys fall in love with the daughter of a dry cleaner who is a strong-minded, bold girl, the drama takes us through interesting series of incidents with a beautiful love story. 

Though it's a routine rich boy-poor girl story and the hardships they face, this drama provides you much more than that. Especially, the emotional quotient of this drama is so high that you can actually feel what's going on with the characters. The lead actors Lee Min Ho, Kim Hyun-joong are fantastic and you can't stop wondering whom you are falling for: One moment, you are in love with Gu Jun pyo and the very moment, you can't stop thinking about Yun Ji Hoo. The brownie points you get are the melodious, addictive songs and background score which I am addicted to. Some of the songs in the Drama are actually sung by one of the lead actors, Kim Hyun-joong, and once again, you can't stop wondering how talented a person can be. 

I recommend everyone to watch "Boys Over Flowers" and in general, K Dramas. You will not regret the experience.

P.S: "Boys Over Flowers" was made into a popular Hindi soap that was aired for more than a year.

D.C. DIARIES

I work in Downtown DC and its the most interesting work place ever. Earlier, I had mostly always worked in remote campuses and to get an opportunity to work in the capital city of a country is amazing. To break away from the monotony, I have been visiting nearby places around me during lunch/break time and have set a target to visit at least one new place per week. On the pretext of exploring D.C, it also gives me an excuse to munch away street food or have unlimited coffee. Here are a few places around my work place:

Franklin Park:

Franklin Park is located 5 minutes away from my work place in Downtown DC. Its named after Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. Its presence amidst concrete buildings, busy roads brings serene vibes to Downtown DC.

It has many trees, benches and annoyingly large number of birds. One side of the park is surrounded by food carts and serves as an open ground lunch area to many employees. It almost always has atleast fifteen people in it who prefer it for either talking on phone or catching up with friends but mostly for having lunch. The park also serves as a home to homeless people.


I once had lunch there and it felt really good to get away from office but the downside was that there were too many birds after my food :|  and I am not ready to go back. I might prefer the park to have coffee maybe - the partial sunrays, slight breeze and green surrounds definitely are a plus.
The Park also has a statue of Commoder John Barry who is widely credited as the Father of the American Navy. He is supposed to be the first captain placed in command of a U.S. warship at the rank of Commodore from President George Washington. It feels good to know that there's so much history about the places around you.


Well, next time if you wanna have a walk and relax in a natural abode in DC Downtown, you know where to go!

New York Avenue Presbyterian Church:

I have always been fascinated by the architecture of churches ever since I started reading Dan Brown's books. I like the construction: especially the the high roofs, sculptures and the paintings. I have been to 4-5 churches till date and it's been a good experience visiting them. 

One such church is the Presbyterian Church which is right in the heart of DC. I was going back to office from Panera Bread one day when I spotted this church on the GPS. I couldn't afford a longer break and could not take a detour to the Church. So the next day, I payed a quick visit to the church. I had always expected churches to be amidst scenic locations surrounded mostly by greenery and I was a little disheartened to see this church as just one of the buildings with only the flags and pole distinguishing it. 

I stood outside it not knowing not whether to enter it or not when I saw an old lady going through an

entrance. I followed her and found her talking to the Father. I chose to come out of the place and know the history of the place rather than go barging in. This is what I learnt: 

The church was formed in 1859-60 and due to its proximity to the White House, a number of Presidents have attended services there. It was founded by leaders of the Associate Reformed movement, who had seceded from the Church of Scotland and retained a separate identity in North America. The church has seen many wars and war heroes, funerals of many Presidents and numerous gatherings.

By the time I had read this, the old lady came out of the church and informed me that its closing for the day. Having just read the history of the church, I just wanted to have one glance at the church interior but alas, I had to go! Hoping to go inside the church next time and get a few pictures if possible.

My dear Grandfather

My dear Grandfather,

I can never tell you how much I see myself in you. I am every bit like you. I seem like you in many ways, yet you had so many admirers and friends all over the world. I don't know how you managed doing it because I am failing in all ways possible.

I can see you in everything I do - I never thought I am so much like you when you were around nor did I understand you. But now, I understand you and wish you were around so that I can share my thoughts with you. Today, I am teaching a class just like you did. I write for my peace of mind. I walk just by myself because I like my company more than anyone else's. I also love and treasure letters and greeting cards like you. I don't trust anybody easily and stay away from others who I don't mind /care. Every time there is a test in English, I see you and you inspire me in every way possible to do my best.

You always appreciated whatever I wrote. You always encouraged me to do some literary work or the other. You did a lot of thinking (framing ideas) while you walked. There is always a part of me just as alone as you were finding solace in every step you took all by yourself.

It hurt me a lot to see the active you in that small room alone - ashamed to talk and feeling anxious all the time you spoke because your voice was slurred. Yet, I see the most powerful and a stubborn person who refused to get false teeth. You, who had so many meals a day, started having just a few meals which broke my heart. I just couldn't come to that room or see you in that manner because it was never you. I wish I just came and spent more time by forcing you to talk to me. I always wanted to ignore the fact that I miss you / I don't talk or even think about you because there are a lot of things untold by me to you.

I wish I could post this letter to you. I really wish I could get a response from you. I wish I could get an appreciation of whatever nonsense I write. I really wish I could sit by your wooden table just to see you work. I wish I could do whatever I want and don't bother what the whole world thinks.

Thank you for being around all my life and making me this person, though I blame you many a time for it.

Today, I cry endlessly because I miss you a lot and I really wish I could tell this in person to you that -  I haven't moved on from the fact that you are no more.

Your loving grand daughter,

Padmini

P.S: My maternal grandfather, Mr.G.Srinivas Rao passed away two years back. I still miss him.

Reality Check

There are times when we wonder if God/Almighty exists. When everything in life is smooth and comfortable, there is a chance that you might debate about the existence of the Almighty. I used to be one such person until I got a reality check on an eventful day.

 I was in my second semester of college, had taken interesting courses, was earning some extra money and to top it all, I got engaged to my long time love and was getting married within six months. I was talking to my parents twice every day, my friends were just a call away. Life was exciting and the number of times I pray decreased gradually.

 So, one fine day, I went for a quick shopping spree alone (yes, I love shopping alone. Where else would I enjoy my right to freedom of thought? ). My phone was fully charged, I had a few buses at appropriate timings and most importantly, I had enough money and time. So, I started going around the store when my fiancé gave me a casual call and hung up soon. I picked up a few clothes and went to the trial room area which was completely empty. Feeling relieved that I need not waste any time waiting, I picked more clothes. Basically, I was just wasting time. My friend who was not in a very good phase of time called me and I started giving some free advice based on my experiences. There are times where u feel u are a saint and I was smirking after the call. After that, I checked the time and realized that I might be running late. Ignoring this fact, without checking the bus timings, I went over to try clothes and was smirking even more when I realized that I got good stuff for lesser price. I got the billing done, held my huge shopping bag and was nearing the exit gate when I noticed damp footprints near the entrance gate. This meant it was raining. With a jolt, I checked the time in my phone and it came as a shock that my phone got switched off. It was 70% the last time I checked it. How this happened still puzzles me. Now, I could not call anyone, the store was about to close, I had rough estimate of the last bus timings, I could not book a cab as my phone was dead, the store was about to close and they were in a hurry to leave as it was raining.

Going home in rain was impossible coz it was a 50 min walk and worst of all, I did not know the route back home. So basically, I was struck on a raining night with nowhere to go, no one to contact and the last bus left must have left too. I tried to stay calm and started walking alone towards the bus stop. It was pitch black with no one around. All I could hear was the rain. Still, I was confident and walked quickly with my head high. 'How bad would things turn out! What would possibly happen to me!' were my thoughts. By the time I reached the bus stop, I was half drenched. There must still be a bus and why should I worry? 10 minutes passed and one car passed me. It was raining heavily now. All I could feel was the water dripping my hair coz my fingers became numb with cold. 10 more minutes passed. A chill ran through me when it was evident that I had no way out than to just stay there or walk for 30 minutes to reach a store, charge my phone and call someone / book a cab. Moreover, somehow the whole area was creepy with weird noises made by insects and bats.

 I gave up completely ... I was wondering if I had no other way than to start walking when it struck me like a lightening that I still have hope. I prayed - "Dear God, I know that I need not read verses praising you or recite your names. I have been ignorant, foolish, self obsessed and I am sorry for it. All I wanna ask of u is if you really exist, please help me out. I have nowhere else to go or ask.... ", I paused.."Hope you really exist!!" I added. And then I waited. 5 minutes later, I saw a headlight and heard a bus horn and it stopped before me. "New route. So, Mason is it?" the friendly driver said. Relief flooded all over me. My shivering hands showed him my id.. "Thank you", I croaked. As I sat on a comfortable chair, all warm and cosy, I closed my moist eyes and said, "Yes, you exist. Thank you God!!".