Thursday, July 13, 2017

My dear Grandfather


My dear Grandfather,

I can never tell you how much I see myself in you. I am every bit like you. I seem like you in many ways, yet you had so many admirers and friends all over the world. I don't know how you managed doing it because I am failing in all ways possible.

I can see you in everything I do - I never thought I am so much like you when you were around nor did I understand you. But now, I understand you and wish you were around so that I can share my thoughts with you. Today, I am teaching a class just like you did. I write for my peace of mind. I walk just by myself because I like my company more than anyone else's. I also love and treasure letters and greeting cards like you. I don't trust anybody easily and stay away from others who I don't mind /care. Every time there is a test in English, I see you and you inspire me in every way possible to do my best.

You always appreciated whatever I wrote. You always encouraged me to do some literary work or the other. You did a lot of thinking (framing ideas) while you walked. There is always a part of me just as alone as you were finding solace in every step you took all by yourself.

It hurt me a lot to see the active you in that small room alone - ashamed to talk and feeling anxious all the time you spoke because your voice was slurred. Yet, I see the most powerful and a stubborn person who refused to get false teeth. You, who had so many meals a day, started having just a few meals which broke my heart. I just couldn't come to that room or see you in that manner because it was never you. I wish I just came and spent more time by forcing you to talk to me. I always wanted to ignore the fact that I miss you / I don't talk or even think about you because there are a lot of things untold by me to you.

I wish I could post this letter to you. I really wish I could get a response from you. I wish I could get an appreciation of whatever nonsense I write. I really wish I could sit by your wooden table just to see you work. I wish I could do whatever I want and don't bother what the whole world thinks.

Thank you for being around all my life and making me this person, though I blame you many a time for it.

Today, I cry endlessly because I miss you a lot and I really wish I could tell this in person to you that -  I haven't moved on from the fact that you are no more.


Your loving grand daughter,

Padmini

P.S: My maternal grandfather, Mr.G.Srinivas Rao passed away two years back. I still miss him.

Reality Check

There are times when we wonder if God/Almighty exists. When everything in life is smooth and comfortable, there is a chance that you might debate about the existence of the Almighty. I used to be one such person until I got a reality check on an eventful day.

 I was in my second semester of college, had taken interesting courses, was earning some extra money and to top it all, I got engaged to my long time love and was getting married within six months. I was talking to my parents twice every day, my friends were just a call away. Life was exciting and the number of times I pray decreased gradually.

 So, one fine day, I went for a quick shopping spree alone (yes, I love shopping alone. Where else would I enjoy my right to freedom of thought? ). My phone was fully charged, I had a few buses at appropriate timings and most importantly, I had enough money and time. So, I started going around the store when my fiancĂ© gave me a casual call and hung up soon. I picked up a few clothes and went to the trial room area which was completely empty. Feeling relieved that I need not waste any time waiting, I picked more clothes. Basically, I was just wasting time. My friend who was not in a very good phase of time called me and I started giving some free advice based on my experiences. There are times where u feel u are a saint and I was smirking after the call. After that, I checked the time and realized that I might be running late. Ignoring this fact, without checking the bus timings, I went over to try clothes and was smirking even more when I realized that I got good stuff for lesser price. I got the billing done, held my huge shopping bag and was nearing the exit gate when I noticed damp footprints near the entrance gate. This meant it was raining. With a jolt, I checked the time in my phone and it came as a shock that my phone got switched off. It was 70% the last time I checked it. How this happened still puzzles me. Now, I could not call anyone, the store was about to close, I had rough estimate of the last bus timings, I could not book a cab as my phone was dead, the store was about to close and they were in a hurry to leave as it was raining.

Going home in rain was impossible coz it was a 50 min walk and worst of all, I did not know the route back home. So basically, I was struck on a raining night with nowhere to go, no one to contact and the last bus left must have left too. I tried to stay calm and started walking alone towards the bus stop. It was pitch black with no one around. All I could hear was the rain. Still, I was confident and walked quickly with my head high. 'How bad would things turn out! What would possibly happen to me!' were my thoughts. By the time I reached the bus stop, I was half drenched. There must still be a bus and why should I worry? 10 minutes passed and one car passed me. It was raining heavily now. All I could feel was the water dripping my hair coz my fingers became numb with cold. 10 more minutes passed. A chill ran through me when it was evident that I had no way out than to just stay there or walk for 30 minutes to reach a store, charge my phone and call someone / book a cab. Moreover, somehow the whole area was creepy with weird noises made by insects and bats.

 I gave up completely ... I was wondering if I had no other way than to start walking when it struck me like a lightening that I still have hope. I prayed - "Dear God, I know that I need not read verses praising you or recite your names. I have been ignorant, foolish, self obsessed and I am sorry for it. All I wanna ask of u is if you really exist, please help me out. I have nowhere else to go or ask.... ", I paused.."Hope you really exist!!" I added. And then I waited. 5 minutes later, I saw a headlight and heard a bus horn and it stopped before me. "New route. So, Mason is it?" the friendly driver said. Relief flooded all over me. My shivering hands showed him my id.. "Thank you", I croaked. As I sat on a comfortable chair, all warm and cosy, I closed my moist eyes and said, "Yes, you exist. Thank you God!!".

Book Review: The Silkworm, By: J.K Rowling

Introduction:

J.K Rowling, the author of the famous Harry Potter series is into mystery writing with a pseudonym, Robert Galbraith. Her detective, Cormoran Strike,  is a 6’3 tall ex-army personnel with an amputed leg. He is a private investigator whose achievements are often envied by the police. This book contains the plot of one of the mysteries which Strike resolves.

Plot (In brief):

The Silkworm is a crime novel by the renowned J.K.Rowling. The story starts with an author’s wife approaching the impeccable private investigator, Cormoran Strike to find her missing husband. The wife tells Strike that her husband, Quinn who frequently leaves home uninformed has argued with his publisher about a book he recently finished writing and has been away for 10 days which is unsual.Strike who has many other cases to resolve gets intrigued by the bizarre case and the woman’s desperation to find her husband and takes up the case. He prioritizes this case even though he does not expect his fees. He meets the author’s publishers, colleagues and gets hold of Quinn’s latest book, “Bombyx Mori” , which means,“ The Silkworm”.
 Quinn’s book is an epitome of vulgarity, where real people are turned into grotesque characters with an unusual plot and a replusive ending.  The protagonist of the book, who undoubtedly is Quinn himself,  is killed brutally with his intestines removed and hydrochloric acid spilled all over him. “Bombyx Mori” thus depicts the story of a person who is burnt alive by people just as silk is extracted out of a silworm. The book also contains allegations about  two  powerful people who are Quinn’s rivals. 
With a long suspect list including the characters in Quinn’s book, Strike sets out to gather clues while interviewing his suspects. His keen  and rather attractive secretary, Robin tries to win Strike’s approval of her sleuthing abilities by collecting updates  and interviewing book shop owners, authors. Despite many fruitless attempts to find out Quinn with his painful amputated leg, Strike never gives up and atlast finds Quinn’s dead body in exactly the same way as depicted in “Bombyx Mori”. The detective’s former friend who is the police-in-chief takes up the case and draws preposterous conclusion that the wife killed her husband.  Assured of his client Leonara Quinn’s innocence,  Strike tries to find out to who the cold blooded  killer is. He finds himself  followed by a hooded figure who wants to kill him. Amidst dangerous car crashes, vague interviews, surprising revelations, family reunions, failed romances, heartbreaks and confusing clues, our impeccable detective crosses hurdle after hurdle and finds out the murderer with a clever and unbeatable plan. The murderer is one of Strike’s suspects and surprisingly it is Quinn’s publisher who tricks Quinn in staging his own death for publicizing his book. Also, it turns out that the murderer makes changes in Quinn’s original manuscript and defames everyone close to Quinn. The motive of the murder is sadism, jealousy and selfishness and desperation to become famous,rich.
On presenting proper proof, Quinn’s widow is dropped of all charges and happily goes back to her family. Also Quinn’s original version of the book “Bombyx Mori” gets published which earns a livelihood for Leonora Quinn. Strike once again proves the police wrong and becomes more famous than ever.  The story ends with an otherwise introverted Strike visiting his relatives for Christmas after a cordial but informal goodbye to his secretary, Robin :D ..

My take on J.K.Rowling’s work  and “The Silkworm”:


Rowling is once again at her imaginative best. She makes her readers laugh, scream, brood, wide-eyed, happy, nod in agreement and also smile. Once you start reading , it is no longer  the huge 480-page book but a baffling mystery which you want to unravel at any cost ASAP. Readers will also experience travelling the entire city of London and if you pay attention, you might also remember the important parts of London city.
 The best gift she gives our generation is the impeccable detective, Cormoran Strike whom you can relate to Sherlock Holmes. Strike unlike Holmes is down to earth, physically impaired but brilliant like Homes. However, you cannot match Holmes’s quickness of deductions with that of any detective alive or dead even though we have google– so, Holmes’s fans need not worry about Strike!  But the good thing is that we have our own detective about whom we can boast to future generations and all credits to Rowling J
The protagonist, Cormoran Strike is intuitive, logical and self driven with enviable will power. He possesses the innate quality of extracting facts from his interviewees which leave them shocked at their own unintended revelations. Despite being so perfect, he seems like any other man with a bad knee , financial problems,heartbreaks and irksome relatives. What distinguishes Strike from other detectives is that he relies on other people during investigation and takes their help without the air of “I’m the one who solved it”.  On top of it , he is tall, huge , can handle villains, fight , and is sexy in his own way :D. Rowling depicted her perfect thought process, art of deduction and creative ability through her detective.
Surprisingly, the book has an emotional side to it , where the readers can actually feel loneliness of a person who is single.  Rowling embarked on the delicacy of bad relationships , new attractions and the silver thread where a person is struck between the two . She brought out the fact that an ex will always have an effect on you whether or not the breakup is painful. Apart from matters relating to the heart, she made it a point to shout to the world about how lucky are the people who can walk without any deformities.
Lastly, Rowling has proved  to the world that she can also write dirty stuff in the dirtiest way possible. Bits of “Bombyx Mori” are highly gruesome where we actually wonder if it is Rowling’s work. The book is also a start up guide to people who wants to become a detective as it does not contain any extraordinary sleuthing techniques but just logical trail of events and an ending with the culprit within the list of suspects.
Thus, “The Silkworm” is a complete package of suspense, horror, incredulity, feelings, romance and not to forget a tourist’s guide to London J

Sad Fact:

->While reading this book, I was struck between wanting to know the suspense and unwillingness to finish the book. Might have to wait for a long time for the next Strike mystery L.
->The only disappointment is that Rowling’s fans expect more from her. When compared to the incredible Potter series, this book can never make it to the top of my fav book list. However, non readers of her work will embrace and enjoy it. For you guys, Welcome to the world of Rowling !! J

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