My dear Grandfather,
I can never tell you how much I see myself in you. I am
every bit like you. I seem like you in many ways, yet you had so many admirers
and friends all over the world. I don't know how you managed doing it because I
am failing in all ways possible.
I can see you in everything I do - I never thought I am
so much like you when you were around nor did I understand you. But now, I
understand you and wish you were around so that I can share my thoughts with
you. Today, I am teaching a class just like you did. I write for my peace of
mind. I walk just by myself because I like my company more than anyone else's.
I also love and treasure letters and greeting cards like you. I don't trust
anybody easily and stay away from others who I don't mind /care. Every time
there is a test in English, I see you and you inspire me in every way possible
to do my best.
You always appreciated whatever I wrote. You always
encouraged me to do some literary work or the other. You did a lot of thinking (framing
ideas) while you walked. There is always a part of me just as alone as you were
finding solace in every step you took all by yourself.
It hurt me a lot to see the active you in that small room
alone - ashamed to talk and feeling anxious all the time you spoke because your
voice was slurred. Yet, I see the most powerful and a stubborn person who refused
to get false teeth. You, who had so many meals a day, started having just a few
meals which broke my heart. I just couldn't come to that room or see you in
that manner because it was never you. I wish I just came and spent more time by
forcing you to talk to me. I always wanted to ignore the fact that I miss you /
I don't talk or even think about you because there are a lot of things untold
by me to you.
I wish I could post this letter to you. I really wish I
could get a response from you. I wish I could get an appreciation of whatever
nonsense I write. I really wish I could sit by your wooden table just to see you
work. I wish I could do whatever I want and don't bother what the whole world
thinks.
Thank you for being around all my life and making me this
person, though I blame you many a time for it.
Today, I cry endlessly because I miss you a lot and I
really wish I could tell this in person to you that - I haven't moved on from the fact that you are no more.
Your loving grand daughter,
Padmini
P.S: My maternal grandfather, Mr.G.Srinivas Rao passed away two years back. I still miss him.
Padmini,
ReplyDeleteI am of the opinion that when a person's emotions & feelings are honest, his/her literary work reflects this honesty flawlessly! I feel writing is one of the very few ways to give vent to your true thoughts! And this work of yours is a testimony to my opinion! Your letter to your inspirational grandfather is truly poignant and replete with love.
I am certain that your grandfather is reading all that you write from high heavens and is equally proud of his talented granddaughter who inherited his Midas touch - a touch that makes all her poems and blogs an enthralling experience to all her readers.
Good luck, Padmini! I wish I could read more of your blogs much more often. You're a crackerjack of a writer!
Best wishes,
Tarun
Loved your reading all over again :) Your writing style reflects your personality - Its as pure and simple as you are! I am so glad you have gotten back to your favorite pastime of writing!
ReplyDeleteI am sure your highly accomplished grand father is all proud of his little grand daughter and couldn't be any more happy and content seeing you make your lil baby steps in the right direction in life and becoming the person he always wanted you to be. You are as loved as your grand father and I see your thoughts are as clear and strong as your grandfather's and I only wish you to be as accomplished as your grandfather in future :)
Looking forward to many such writings!
Love,
Srinivas