Wednesday, June 20, 2018

Dear Long Lost Best Friend,

Dear Long Lost Best Friend,

Its been ages since we spoke and I know things are not going to change.  I really wish we had never been friends. I wonder if we were ever friends!

If not always, at least once in a while, I wanna find out how you are doing. Or how things are going on at your end. Even though I gather from social media that everything is okay, just a word from your end that things are okay will be so good.
I know I can't fix your troubles/ be there for you morally.. But just for the sake of old times and also because I genuinely care for you, can't we talk once in a while without making it a big deal?!
Maybe we can longer be best friends but,

Can't we be acquaintances and not strangers?!
Can't you visit me when I finally have a home of my own ?
Can't there be one proper birthday wish?
...
Can't there be at least one phone call a year?

I meet new people every day.. I spend time, 'hang out" with them.. But I confess that there are very few friends like you.

If I tell you this, I am the weaker one. The one with no self respect...
But if I don't, there will be regret and remorse - one day when I am old and have nothing else to do, I'd wish I'd tried one last time.
If you were in my place, what would you do? Now tell me, what should I do?

Many a time, I gave up on you. Many a time, I crossed you off my list. Many a time, I don't give a damn..
But all the time, you pop up : over simple conversations, those casual outings.. just that fraction of second where I wish you were there along with the others..

And here's the truth. I finally realized something. I was never the best friend you always claimed me to be..
I am whom I am - just someone whom you "hung out" with..

Take care...

Sincerely,
Your Friend (??)

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Book review: The Perks of being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

To be honest, I did not understand what the title meant when I saw the book in Barnes and Noble but the moment I came to know that wallflower is a person who is shy, awkward and someone who is usually overlooked, my curiosity increased. Now what can be the perks of being such a person ? - actually none; such people often tend to be lonely with low confidence and insecurities but this book changes this opinion.



Charlie, the protagonist is a very shy and sensitive teenager  who has problems because he is unpredictable, easily traumatized and can break into tears which is a little unusual for boys his age. But as we all know that all people have both pros and cons, his pros are - he is very intelligent, respectful, understanding, sincere, honest and places other people before him.

The book contains letters addressed to a friend whom we do not know - but it can be assumed to be anyone, even you or me. It starts with the death of his best friend Michael and we immediately get introduced to the sensitive side of Charlie where he breaks into tears in a counselling session and this is when he starts going to a counselor to talk about his feelings. Incidentally, he is still mourning over the demise of his favorite aunt, Helen, who stayed with his parents, brother, sister until recently. School year has started and  he is in his first year of high school without any friends and is alone most of the time. His claims that his only friend in high school is his English teacher who is friendly and encouraging. But this changes when he gets introduced to Patrick, his classmate and Sam, with whom Charlie falls in love at the very first sight. They bond instantly and this is when Charlie's life changes in a good way. He starts getting party invites and despite being a wallflower his sincere and understanding nature appeals to all. He becomes a part of the senior group and starts hanging out with them, performs in theater with them : The Rocky Road Show, gets introduced to smoking, alcohol and "brownies". All the while, he grows more in love with Sam even though Sam treats him like a friend and goes out with other guys. If that's the scene with friends, at home, he gets busy watching out for his sister who starts dating good guys, sometimes -bad guys, helps her out during an abortion, becomes the peace maker in family reunions. Reading novels and writing becomes an integral part of his life too when his English teacher notices his potential and assigns him a new book to read and review every week. In addition, he also passes his licence test and begins driving - which means more independence. But he also has his share of bad days where he cries violently, sits depressed for hours, gets addicted to smoking and keeps visiting his aunt Helen's grave every now and then. The story thus takes us through his life until Sam and Patrick graduate and Charlie is still in his high school. But it ends with a shocking revelation - the reason why Charlie is disturbed, shy and I don't want to say anything more because I don't want to give away any spoilers. Please find out yourself.

Its been 5 hours since I completed the book but I can't get Charlie and his world out of my mind. As I mentioned earlier, Charlie is a selfless person and it shows in everything he does -  running errands, buying gifts for friends and family, always listening to people , understanding their emotions and actually being there for them. He also stands up for his friends by fighting a group of senior friends to defending his friend, lands in detentions for them and helps them through breakups. But in spite of being there for everybody, there are many occasions where he has nobody to talk to even when he badly needs company - but he never complains nor does he expect which I think everyone ought to learn. He is a real giver and I haven't come across such a selfless and kind character in any book I've ever read. He also has a strong control on his mind and easily gets out of bad habits when he chooses to. Kudos to Charlie.

Reading the book has been an experience. Over the last 3 days, I have become a friend of Charlie and he took me through the most crucial part of his life - his coming of age story. Knowing that people like Charlie still exist is comforting and I am very pleased to have gotten to know him. Anyone who has read the book can "really" understand and know his family and friends . This shows how well written the book is. Its not a 500 pager but just a 200 pager with life and soul poured into the pages of the book.

I recommend everyone to read this book as it wallows over emotions and touches your heart like never before. If you are not a book person, you can watch the movie which got released with the same title in 2012.

(Now, in Charlie's style):
Love Always,
Padmini

P.S: I wish I actually got all those letters from Charlie.

Monday, October 16, 2017

New found love: Korean Dramas

I've never wanted to learn a new language so much. After watching 5 Korean dramas and 2 of them for an unlimited number of times, I HAVE to learn Korean. The beauty of the word "Sarang" (love), the gratitude while saying 'Kumawa' (Thank you)  is all what's on my mind right now. I just know about 10 Korean words properly but these 10 words make place in all my conversations, especially with my husband, who now understands and knows them as much as I do. If you think my obsession is just about the language, you are mistaken. Of late, I have been obsessed with Korean stars, especially Kim Hyun Joong and Lee Min Ho.  

Kim Hyun Joong
Lee Min Ho

I was in disbelief when I first caught my roommates watching K-Dramas after college hours. When there are umpteen series in known languages such as English and Indian languages, why watch a series in Korean? One day, my roommates forced me to watch a Korean drama during dinner and I'd obliged grudgingly. But 10 mins into the drama, I fell in love with the essence of K-Dramas.  For one thing, the dramas are so relevant to your life and capture the tiniest bit of emotions you have ever experienced in your life. Also, they are all just 12-15 episode dramas of one hour each with each scene more interesting than the previous one which makes the whole watching part satisfying. You could just watch it over tea/lunch for one hour and you are closer to reaching the end of the plot by one hour. As much as they are relevant to your life, the stories can completely take you by surprise through twists in the plot. To top it all, the K drama heroes are very handsome and though initially, they all seem similar (and in some cases like girls), you can't stop crushing on them.  

The leading ladies are all quite bold, strong, independent women with great strength of character and amaze you with their performance. I have come across such strong characters that I actually wondered why I was never like one of them when I was a teenager/even now. 

Of all the K dramas, the impact which the drama "Boys Over Flowers" made on me is the highest. The name sounds funny but trust me, the drama is very popular. The story revolves around 4 rich guys who are are called F4 in their high school. Though initially they are depicted as heartless, rude, and spoilt, as the drama unfolds, you can't stop gushing over the good-natured, kind, and understanding side of these guys. As two of the guys fall in love with the daughter of a dry cleaner who is a strong-minded, bold girl, the drama takes us through interesting series of incidents with a beautiful love story. 

Though it's a routine rich boy-poor girl story and the hardships they face, this drama provides you much more than that. Especially, the emotional quotient of this drama is so high that you can actually feel what's going on with the characters. The lead actors Lee Min Ho, Kim Hyun-joong are fantastic and you can't stop wondering whom you are falling for: One moment, you are in love with Gu Jun pyo and the very moment, you can't stop thinking about Yun Ji Hoo. The brownie points you get are the melodious, addictive songs and background score which I am addicted to. Some of the songs in the Drama are actually sung by one of the lead actors, Kim Hyun-joong, and once again, you can't stop wondering how talented a person can be. 

I recommend everyone to watch "Boys Over Flowers" and in general, K Dramas. You will not regret the experience.

P.S: "Boys Over Flowers" was made into a popular Hindi soap that was aired for more than a year.

Saturday, October 7, 2017

D.C. DIARIES


I work in Downtown DC and its the most interesting work place ever. Earlier, I had mostly always worked in remote campuses and to get an opportunity to work in the capital city of a country is amazing. To break away from the monotony, I have been visiting nearby places around me during lunch/break time and have set a target to visit at least one new place per week. On the pretext of exploring D.C, it also gives me an excuse to munch away street food or have unlimited coffee. Here are a few places around my work place:

Franklin Park:

Franklin Park is located 5 minutes away from my work place in Downtown DC. Its named after Benjamin Franklin, one of the Founding Fathers of the United States. Its presence amidst concrete buildings, busy roads brings serene vibes to Downtown DC.





It has many trees, benches and annoyingly large number of birds. One side of the park is surrounded by food carts and serves as an open ground lunch area to many employees. It almost always has atleast fifteen people in it who prefer it for either talking on phone or catching up with friends but mostly for having lunch. The park also serves as a home to homeless people.


I once had lunch there and it felt really good to get away from office but the downside was that there were too many birds after my food :|  and I am not ready to go back. I might prefer the park to have coffee maybe - the partial sunrays, slight breeze and green surrounds definitely are a plus.
The Park also has a statue of Commoder John Barry who is widely credited as the Father of the American Navy. He is supposed to be the first captain placed in command of a U.S. warship at the rank of Commodore from President George Washington. It feels good to know that there's so much history about the places around you.


Well, next time if you wanna have a walk and relax in a natural abode in DC Downtown, you know where to go!




New York Avenue Presbyterian Church:

I have always been fascinated by the architecture of churches ever since I started reading Dan Brown's books. I like the construction: especially the the high roofs, sculptures and the paintings. I have been to 4-5 churches till date and it's been a good experience visiting them. 

One such church is the Presbyterian Church which is right in the heart of DC. I was going back to office from Panera Bread one day when I spotted this church on the GPS. I couldn't afford a longer break and could not take a detour to the Church. So the next day, I payed a quick visit to the church. I had always expected churches to be amidst scenic locations surrounded mostly by greenery and I was a little disheartened to see this church as just one of the buildings with only the flags and pole distinguishing it. 


I stood outside it not knowing not whether to enter it or not when I saw an old lady going through an
entrance. I followed her and found her talking to the Father. I chose to come out of the place and know the history of the place rather than go barging in. This is what I learnt: 

The church was formed in 1859-60 and due to its proximity to the White House, a number of Presidents have attended services there. It was founded by leaders of the Associate Reformed movement, who had seceded from the Church of Scotland and retained a separate identity in North America. The church has seen many wars and war heroes, funerals of many Presidents and numerous gatherings.

By the time I had read this, the old lady came out of the church and informed me that its closing for the day. Having just read the history of the church, I just wanted to have one glance at the church interior but alas, I had to go! Hoping to go inside the church next time and get a few pictures if possible.




Thursday, July 13, 2017

My dear Grandfather


My dear Grandfather,

I can never tell you how much I see myself in you. I am every bit like you. I seem like you in many ways, yet you had so many admirers and friends all over the world. I don't know how you managed doing it because I am failing in all ways possible.

I can see you in everything I do - I never thought I am so much like you when you were around nor did I understand you. But now, I understand you and wish you were around so that I can share my thoughts with you. Today, I am teaching a class just like you did. I write for my peace of mind. I walk just by myself because I like my company more than anyone else's. I also love and treasure letters and greeting cards like you. I don't trust anybody easily and stay away from others who I don't mind /care. Every time there is a test in English, I see you and you inspire me in every way possible to do my best.

You always appreciated whatever I wrote. You always encouraged me to do some literary work or the other. You did a lot of thinking (framing ideas) while you walked. There is always a part of me just as alone as you were finding solace in every step you took all by yourself.

It hurt me a lot to see the active you in that small room alone - ashamed to talk and feeling anxious all the time you spoke because your voice was slurred. Yet, I see the most powerful and a stubborn person who refused to get false teeth. You, who had so many meals a day, started having just a few meals which broke my heart. I just couldn't come to that room or see you in that manner because it was never you. I wish I just came and spent more time by forcing you to talk to me. I always wanted to ignore the fact that I miss you / I don't talk or even think about you because there are a lot of things untold by me to you.

I wish I could post this letter to you. I really wish I could get a response from you. I wish I could get an appreciation of whatever nonsense I write. I really wish I could sit by your wooden table just to see you work. I wish I could do whatever I want and don't bother what the whole world thinks.

Thank you for being around all my life and making me this person, though I blame you many a time for it.

Today, I cry endlessly because I miss you a lot and I really wish I could tell this in person to you that -  I haven't moved on from the fact that you are no more.


Your loving grand daughter,

Padmini

P.S: My maternal grandfather, Mr.G.Srinivas Rao passed away two years back. I still miss him.

Reality Check

There are times when we wonder if God/Almighty exists. When everything in life is smooth and comfortable, there is a chance that you might debate about the existence of the Almighty. I used to be one such person until I got a reality check on an eventful day.

 I was in my second semester of college, had taken interesting courses, was earning some extra money and to top it all, I got engaged to my long time love and was getting married within six months. I was talking to my parents twice every day, my friends were just a call away. Life was exciting and the number of times I pray decreased gradually.

 So, one fine day, I went for a quick shopping spree alone (yes, I love shopping alone. Where else would I enjoy my right to freedom of thought? ). My phone was fully charged, I had a few buses at appropriate timings and most importantly, I had enough money and time. So, I started going around the store when my fiancĂ© gave me a casual call and hung up soon. I picked up a few clothes and went to the trial room area which was completely empty. Feeling relieved that I need not waste any time waiting, I picked more clothes. Basically, I was just wasting time. My friend who was not in a very good phase of time called me and I started giving some free advice based on my experiences. There are times where u feel u are a saint and I was smirking after the call. After that, I checked the time and realized that I might be running late. Ignoring this fact, without checking the bus timings, I went over to try clothes and was smirking even more when I realized that I got good stuff for lesser price. I got the billing done, held my huge shopping bag and was nearing the exit gate when I noticed damp footprints near the entrance gate. This meant it was raining. With a jolt, I checked the time in my phone and it came as a shock that my phone got switched off. It was 70% the last time I checked it. How this happened still puzzles me. Now, I could not call anyone, the store was about to close, I had rough estimate of the last bus timings, I could not book a cab as my phone was dead, the store was about to close and they were in a hurry to leave as it was raining.

Going home in rain was impossible coz it was a 50 min walk and worst of all, I did not know the route back home. So basically, I was struck on a raining night with nowhere to go, no one to contact and the last bus left must have left too. I tried to stay calm and started walking alone towards the bus stop. It was pitch black with no one around. All I could hear was the rain. Still, I was confident and walked quickly with my head high. 'How bad would things turn out! What would possibly happen to me!' were my thoughts. By the time I reached the bus stop, I was half drenched. There must still be a bus and why should I worry? 10 minutes passed and one car passed me. It was raining heavily now. All I could feel was the water dripping my hair coz my fingers became numb with cold. 10 more minutes passed. A chill ran through me when it was evident that I had no way out than to just stay there or walk for 30 minutes to reach a store, charge my phone and call someone / book a cab. Moreover, somehow the whole area was creepy with weird noises made by insects and bats.

 I gave up completely ... I was wondering if I had no other way than to start walking when it struck me like a lightening that I still have hope. I prayed - "Dear God, I know that I need not read verses praising you or recite your names. I have been ignorant, foolish, self obsessed and I am sorry for it. All I wanna ask of u is if you really exist, please help me out. I have nowhere else to go or ask.... ", I paused.."Hope you really exist!!" I added. And then I waited. 5 minutes later, I saw a headlight and heard a bus horn and it stopped before me. "New route. So, Mason is it?" the friendly driver said. Relief flooded all over me. My shivering hands showed him my id.. "Thank you", I croaked. As I sat on a comfortable chair, all warm and cosy, I closed my moist eyes and said, "Yes, you exist. Thank you God!!".

Book Review: The Silkworm, By: J.K Rowling

Introduction:

J.K Rowling, the author of the famous Harry Potter series is into mystery writing with a pseudonym, Robert Galbraith. Her detective, Cormoran Strike,  is a 6’3 tall ex-army personnel with an amputed leg. He is a private investigator whose achievements are often envied by the police. This book contains the plot of one of the mysteries which Strike resolves.

Plot (In brief):

The Silkworm is a crime novel by the renowned J.K.Rowling. The story starts with an author’s wife approaching the impeccable private investigator, Cormoran Strike to find her missing husband. The wife tells Strike that her husband, Quinn who frequently leaves home uninformed has argued with his publisher about a book he recently finished writing and has been away for 10 days which is unsual.Strike who has many other cases to resolve gets intrigued by the bizarre case and the woman’s desperation to find her husband and takes up the case. He prioritizes this case even though he does not expect his fees. He meets the author’s publishers, colleagues and gets hold of Quinn’s latest book, “Bombyx Mori” , which means,“ The Silkworm”.
 Quinn’s book is an epitome of vulgarity, where real people are turned into grotesque characters with an unusual plot and a replusive ending.  The protagonist of the book, who undoubtedly is Quinn himself,  is killed brutally with his intestines removed and hydrochloric acid spilled all over him. “Bombyx Mori” thus depicts the story of a person who is burnt alive by people just as silk is extracted out of a silworm. The book also contains allegations about  two  powerful people who are Quinn’s rivals. 
With a long suspect list including the characters in Quinn’s book, Strike sets out to gather clues while interviewing his suspects. His keen  and rather attractive secretary, Robin tries to win Strike’s approval of her sleuthing abilities by collecting updates  and interviewing book shop owners, authors. Despite many fruitless attempts to find out Quinn with his painful amputated leg, Strike never gives up and atlast finds Quinn’s dead body in exactly the same way as depicted in “Bombyx Mori”. The detective’s former friend who is the police-in-chief takes up the case and draws preposterous conclusion that the wife killed her husband.  Assured of his client Leonara Quinn’s innocence,  Strike tries to find out to who the cold blooded  killer is. He finds himself  followed by a hooded figure who wants to kill him. Amidst dangerous car crashes, vague interviews, surprising revelations, family reunions, failed romances, heartbreaks and confusing clues, our impeccable detective crosses hurdle after hurdle and finds out the murderer with a clever and unbeatable plan. The murderer is one of Strike’s suspects and surprisingly it is Quinn’s publisher who tricks Quinn in staging his own death for publicizing his book. Also, it turns out that the murderer makes changes in Quinn’s original manuscript and defames everyone close to Quinn. The motive of the murder is sadism, jealousy and selfishness and desperation to become famous,rich.
On presenting proper proof, Quinn’s widow is dropped of all charges and happily goes back to her family. Also Quinn’s original version of the book “Bombyx Mori” gets published which earns a livelihood for Leonora Quinn. Strike once again proves the police wrong and becomes more famous than ever.  The story ends with an otherwise introverted Strike visiting his relatives for Christmas after a cordial but informal goodbye to his secretary, Robin :D ..

My take on J.K.Rowling’s work  and “The Silkworm”:


Rowling is once again at her imaginative best. She makes her readers laugh, scream, brood, wide-eyed, happy, nod in agreement and also smile. Once you start reading , it is no longer  the huge 480-page book but a baffling mystery which you want to unravel at any cost ASAP. Readers will also experience travelling the entire city of London and if you pay attention, you might also remember the important parts of London city.
 The best gift she gives our generation is the impeccable detective, Cormoran Strike whom you can relate to Sherlock Holmes. Strike unlike Holmes is down to earth, physically impaired but brilliant like Homes. However, you cannot match Holmes’s quickness of deductions with that of any detective alive or dead even though we have google– so, Holmes’s fans need not worry about Strike!  But the good thing is that we have our own detective about whom we can boast to future generations and all credits to Rowling J
The protagonist, Cormoran Strike is intuitive, logical and self driven with enviable will power. He possesses the innate quality of extracting facts from his interviewees which leave them shocked at their own unintended revelations. Despite being so perfect, he seems like any other man with a bad knee , financial problems,heartbreaks and irksome relatives. What distinguishes Strike from other detectives is that he relies on other people during investigation and takes their help without the air of “I’m the one who solved it”.  On top of it , he is tall, huge , can handle villains, fight , and is sexy in his own way :D. Rowling depicted her perfect thought process, art of deduction and creative ability through her detective.
Surprisingly, the book has an emotional side to it , where the readers can actually feel loneliness of a person who is single.  Rowling embarked on the delicacy of bad relationships , new attractions and the silver thread where a person is struck between the two . She brought out the fact that an ex will always have an effect on you whether or not the breakup is painful. Apart from matters relating to the heart, she made it a point to shout to the world about how lucky are the people who can walk without any deformities.
Lastly, Rowling has proved  to the world that she can also write dirty stuff in the dirtiest way possible. Bits of “Bombyx Mori” are highly gruesome where we actually wonder if it is Rowling’s work. The book is also a start up guide to people who wants to become a detective as it does not contain any extraordinary sleuthing techniques but just logical trail of events and an ending with the culprit within the list of suspects.
Thus, “The Silkworm” is a complete package of suspense, horror, incredulity, feelings, romance and not to forget a tourist’s guide to London J

Sad Fact:

->While reading this book, I was struck between wanting to know the suspense and unwillingness to finish the book. Might have to wait for a long time for the next Strike mystery L.
->The only disappointment is that Rowling’s fans expect more from her. When compared to the incredible Potter series, this book can never make it to the top of my fav book list. However, non readers of her work will embrace and enjoy it. For you guys, Welcome to the world of Rowling !! J

Blogchatter Book Review - "Incredible India Bucket List" by Aditya Sathe

 I came across this book through the Blogchatter Ebook Carnival and am glad that I got an opportunity to read it.  Early in the book, the au...